14 April 2009

noteworthy items

1) I'm seriously considering veganism after reading 100 pages of that book Skinny Bitch. It started out as a joke. I thought I would read a couple pages, have my suspicions about the book confirmed, and go back to reading something else, but no. No, they had to write a really good book that made me feel like not only is it effing disgusting and ridiculous to eat meat and animal products, but it also makes you gross and unnecessarily fat. I've been craving vegan riblets since about 11. The bad: According to the bitches, no more caffeine, so I've had kind of a headache all day. The good: since 9 pm last night, I haven't ingested a single thing from a beast, and it really hasn't been that difficult. The hardest part is finding shit that's organic & whole grain if you don't purchase it yourself, but whatev. I need groceries anyway.

2) Cloned camel in Dubai.
Apparently, cloning camels " gives a means of preserving the valuable genetics of our elite racing and milk producing camels in the future," says Dr Lulu Skidmore of the Camel Reproduction Centre. Mmmmm.... camel milk....


Well, a-men. I can't imagine what could be more natural than eliminating the possibility for natural genetic mutation. We certainly can't have any mutated racing camels! Doesn't that seem almost equivalent to steroids in baseball? And how can you know if a camel will be a great racing camel, just because it has the exact same DNA as a once-great racing camel? What if it was the human that trained the camel that made all the difference? We probably should start cloning humans, just in case. I nominate Jeff Goldblum.

The weirdest part of the story to me is this: The great racing camel that they cloned to make this new baby camel is now dead. How, you ask? It was killed. Why? For its meat. Why not just keep the good racing camel alive, and not eat it, that way you don't have to clone it...

I don't know. Obviously I'm too naive for this stuff.

13 April 2009

a vulnerable species.


© 2006Bruno & LĂ­gia Rodrigues. August 2006.

I heard not long ago that more and more polar bears are drowning because of so much ice melting, and that makes me cry. Seriously. I just googled "polar bears drowning" to find an article, and there are even videos online. And horrible sad pictures of polar bears clinging to the last bit of ice available before they're totally screwed out in the middle of the ocean. Don't google it. It really is sad. Anyway, what kind of sick weirdo sits back and takes video of a drowning polar bear?! Not cool.

With that in mind, seeing this in the news today really cheered me up. A woman at the Berlin zoo decided to climb into the polar bear habitat and say hello... As if polar bears don't have it bad enough to begin with. So, obviously, like anyone would do if they were a polar bear, they attacked her. Viciously. There are some great pictures and video, one of which is embedded below. Now, you might ask: "What kind of sick weirdo sits back and takes video of a woman being attacked by a polar bear?!" The same kind of sick weirdo that does it to polar bears. God, people are so effed up and weird, I swear. Especially Germans.

Observe:


The obvious lesson to be gleaned from this non-tragic role reversal is this: Don't eff with polar bears, because they will kick your ass. They know it's not their fault that all of their ice is melting, and they saw that one guy taping their poor polar bear uncle struggling to stay afloat, and they thought it was sick.

09 April 2009

all hail blobfish

Blobfish.jpg Uploaded by kinskarije on 14 May 08

My first reaction was: "I know that guy!"

Then I realized it was a fish. With a parasite dangling from its floppy, spitty lips. This is the saddest fish I've ever seen. I just wanted to bring it to as many peoples attention as I could.

But, there are more important things going on in the sea. Like the pirates hijacking that ship and holding the captain hostage. I'm not at all trying to downplay this situation. It totally sucks, and if the captain of that ship has family, I'm sure they're having a horrible few days and they have my sympathies.

What I don't understand is why until about a year ago, pirates were never media worthy, except for those of the Johnny Depp persuasion. I can't imagine that it wasn't a problem up until a year ago, which makes me think "damn Johnny Depp, way to increase the America's awareness about the little discussed, but clearly growing epidemic of sea pirates. Once again you've helped change the world for the better... Lord knows what we'd have done without your brilliant interpretation of Hunter S. Thompson. More movies should have dialogue you can't understand..." But I digress...

What I'm trying to say is that obviously this has been a problem that no one really felt it necessary to mention until there were Americans involved- either playing pirates or being threatened by them, and then all of a sudden everyone's talking about it (including me) and it's suddenly a real problem.

And, by that I mean Johnny Depp should be in more movies, all the time.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for one starring Johnny as Padre de Carli.... Wait... Isn't Disney coming out with that movie??? I guess Ed Asner will have to do in Johnny's stead....


Mural... by: Eduardo Kobra Uploaded on September 2, 2008
by jACK TWO